It is always amazing to me how music can transport me to another time and place. Tonight, on a rather nostalgic bent, I began searching for songs I remembered from my younger years. I came upon this one from singer/songwriter Paul Overstreet. It was a favorite of mine and I can remember sitting and listening to it as a teenager, then as a college student, praying that one day I might be so blessed to attain what I secretly considered the ultimate occupation. My secret desire of my heart while all the while hearing advice about graduate schools and career paths, changing majors, etc...
And I realized, no I believed, that I have arrived; I am living the dream. Arrived not to a mere occupation, but to my vocation, the journey that will lead to my ultimate destination, eternity with God, in heaven--a reality of homemaking which I didn't understand as a young girl. It really is here, with me, here, in the midst of the piles of laundry, the runny noses, the giggles, the crumbs, the hugs, the tears, the dirty dishes, the drawings posted on the fridge, the tea parties, bath time,...all the opportunities to turn to and grow closer to God, to seek and grow in the virtues, to see and trust God, through the innocent eyes of my children and each task of each new day, and to praise Him for all His precious gifts.
Oh, I knew all of this in an academic sense, but I had not really claimed that vocation as the priceless treasure given to me by God, meant to bring me and my family in closer union to Him, until that day of our ultimate union. Can any of us ever fully appreciate such a precious gift? The dreamer's heart of my younger self still beats within me today, stronger now, with the combined strength and wisdom the passing years have brought. My sufferings are so tiny compared to those of so many others, I know, but they've occupied my heart for what seems so long. It is so easy to become discouraged when I think of the time I've lost with my children while I was overwhelmed with the pain of loss, doctors & nursing homes, and maintaining distant properties and financial matters. I pray that tonight's recollection will lead me deeper into this vocation and journey, strengthen my resolve, and focus my attention on the little things that can so easily be unappreciated.
Thanks be to God for my vocation of marriage and motherhood. Dear God, forgive me for the times I take them for granted, when I forget how I once prayed for them and sometimes believed they were too precious, too wonderful to ever actually be mine. Grant that I may see the world through my children's eyes and remember how things once appeared to me from that vantage. Daily grant me the patience and love to be the wife and mother you would have me to be, so that I may do Your will in all things. Help me to take it all--hopes, hurts, fears, frustrations, joys--to You, and to seek You first for my fulfillment, so that I may have Love to give. And Dear God, I pray that I will, in, doing my daily tasks, and in loving my husband and children, grow closer always to You. Amen.
Blessed Virgin Mary, Model of Motherhood, pray for us!